Thursday, July 4, 2013

A Life in a Day

Hello again, dear Juan Day Readers,

Yesterday, P remarked on how I seem to live an entire life each day, waking with vigor, walking the river, smiling and laughing and all systems go--but by the evenings, I am more like a crippled old woman, and thanks to these BP meds, even my voice becomes weak and scratchy and far from it's usual velvety self.

So I wrote a poem about it.

Haven't written any poetry or lyrics since before being hospitalized and it was good to get it out and hear the muses again.

Hoping hard that this now regular routine will soon enough, become the exception.   But after so many months of feeling so rough, it's hard to imagine that happening, as I still don't know if the fatigue and pain is due to this lonnnnng and ongoing prednisone weaning, (won't reach my goal of 5mgs/day until November), the stage 3b kidney disease, or the damage done to my joints by the Vasculitis over the years.

In any case, like I said to my dad the other day on the phone, I am SO grateful for the normalcy of the mornings.  If I felt like I do in the afternoons all the time, I really wonder if my morale would be anywhere near where it is.  "Vive les mornings!!!"

So here it is, hot off the JG presses and done on one of the wonderful, (and sunny too!), good days:

A Life in a Day
by Juanita Grande 

I wake up a child, each day with new life
To anyone watching, I'm normal and right
Past lunch time the change starts, burns into my eyes
The clock surely trades all that vigor for strife

By three I'm much older, than what my years are
I walk slowly and painfully, never too far
Usually to or from my bed, the couch or a car
And with each passing hour, I lower the bar

But sometimes there's one day, erases the rest
I open the window of normalcy blessed
I get all of my things done--the pains off my chest
And these days are precious and fill up my head

To anyone watching on these days, I'm "right"
But most days are shadows of my former life
This road is a long one, with each step I fight
And little by little, I gather more light

+++vibes, Everybody,

: J


P said...

Tears to my eyes baby...
Your rhymes have a tendency to get me every time.The more the better. Love this Juan ; )

Juanita Grande said...

Thanks, my dearest P.

: J

scott paterson said...

I'm sorry you have to go through this but I feel ultimately you are one of the lucky ones. You are a survivor. What else matters?
U exist. You breath air. U love. U find joy. U are more Alive and vibrant than %99.999999 people on this planet. You will get stronger and stronger.u guys rock.

Juanita Grande said...

Wow. As do you, Scott! : )

I'm looking forward to your session.

: J

Rocky said...

Sorry to hear the fatigue is so overwhelming Juanita.

I tell people that I wake up in the morning feeling like they did when they went to bed -and it winds down from there. Nobody really grasps the degree and extent that it has on one's energy, outlook etc.

Your poetry captures it beautifully, however. And so I have my solution. When somebody asks, I will simply give them your poem.

Thanks for sharing and I wish you the very best on your journey back to good health.

mahara sinclaire said...

Love, love, love! you are an inspiration dear Juanita... may all your mornings stretch to night :)

Anonymous said...

Very nice!

Maybe you should lend it to a Vasculitis group? It's an unusual perspective.


Juanita Grande said...

Thanks, Mahara! Thanks Roch!

It is morning here now and a wonderful one as I slept well and long, ready for a special weekend with the in-laws close after too much time away from them.

Bon weekend, dear Friends,

: J

Anonymous said...

Most mornings are good for me, too. By afternoon, I am an old woman, too. When I have a bad morning, it is disheartening. Beautiful poem. I am blessed to have found your blog.