Monday, January 28, 2013

A Double Rainbow

Yes, a double rainbow is what that title says and non, it has nothing to do with the California-dude who made that saying so incredibly famous, I believe last year.

It does however, for me and the luck I had to be looking out the window at the just right time, mean something pretty damned special, so I thought I'd share.

This is what I was quite impressed to be beholding back in early December after some Marchy-feeling weather that makes for the often wet days we have here in Winter in Paris:

Nice, eh?  It was like nothing I'd ever seen, having never seen a whole rainbow ever in my whole life.  (I'm 42 now and high fives to Mr. Adams, I GET IT. ; ).   Here is a link to some video I was lucky enough to have had the battery power at hand and presence of mind capture so you can see it all for yourselves.  I remember at the time of witnessing this rare and massive, slightly chill-inducing bit of natural splendor, feeling rather pleased with my special self for as noted, actually looking out the window at the right moment to have taken it all in.   
It lasted for no more than 10 minutes and I was basically on my way out the door in the opposite direction to meet my husband Pascal for as I recall, an evening of modern ballet in Paris.  
I also at the time had been for some months preceding, going through some kinda spiritual disturbance, feasting my eyes on subjects like out of body experiences, methods and techniques out there to protect one's empathic self from needless bombardments, (perhaps something a lot of songwriters have trouble with now and then), and tips on better handling the stress of simply picking up too easily on others' stress etc.

Perhaps all that searching was due to the chronic pain I've had since about 2009 in: both knees, (osteoarthritis diagnosed in there eventually), my lower back, (disc now completely deteriorated between L5 & S1), and more recently, similar problems in the neck vertebrae that showed up on an x-ray about a year ago.  

For whatever reasons, there I was, often looking for a way to handle better the state my body had come to know as "normal".  ( I see every day with renewed clarity just how abnormal that state was and how much mojo it took to handle it all without succumbing to crotchety-dome.)

On the subject of pain management, I never liked taking the buttload of anti-inflammatories prescribed as usual, by GP's due to the price one always seems to pay in other organs to process them if taken regularly and so I often opted instead for topical pain management options like pomades, ice packs and heating pads etc.  Ok and yes at times, the mary-jane and at other times, perhaps one, (or 4), too many glasses of bubbly, hey I'm in FRANCE. 

And luckily, just one little puff of today's impressive chronic was often just enough to lift at least one mean layer of pain from my body and eventually, I figured, hey, wouldnt' just lifting up and right outta my actual body here, be just the ticket?  Never even came close to being able to pull one of those manoeuvres off, but again, I was simply, (and I see now that the hyper-pain I was feeling so often and deeply was no doubt in direct relation to the MPA's inflammation), looking for some kinda relief that didn't involve NSAIDs or opiates, (which I'm allergic to), or other such freaky chemical options.

Soooooo, back to that blessed double rainbow: yesterday, my dear husband Pascal and I were musing, (now that I am after so many years, so happily and completely pain-free save for the odd niggling headachy moment, and thusly much better at musing, (yay again for Prednisone and eating and living super-clean--haven't had a puff or drink since before the hospital), over this whole new lifestyle we're both rockin'.  And ftr, he IS rockin' it like a champion in every way.  

We were discussing how a massive medical crisis can bring about so often, massive spiritual growth.  We got chicken-and-egging, pondering the timing of this great illness coming into my life seemingly right when I was needing some serious TLC most, (and I can assure you, being literally cradled in the arms of anyone in the medical field and for weeks on end really is just plain COMFORTING, so long as one just surrenders themselves to it all, which is what I did).  Pulling around 3+ IV bags for a good spell, just plain messed-up sick makes that pretty easy.

Back to P's and my musings by the fireplace, (right now, my darned near favorite place in the house), and how still, so little is understood in the whacky world of auto-immune diseases with so many of them seemingly more and more common.  Or is it, we mused on, that they're just more accurately diagnosed these days?  Or could it be this rotted and damaged planet we've been polluting for so long biting us in our bums? Or perhaps it's the plethora of artificial colors, flavors and preservatives so many of us eat as staples giving rise to more auto-immune conditions?  Or are are those conditions somehow connected to and/or a result of prolonged pain exposure?   Or do we, "bring that shit on ourselves", in some crazed form of self-preservation, or..?

You see where we were going but instead, we ended up going into the kitchen for my first meal of fish since being home and it was heavenly: mouth-melting Tilapia with a light snowing of fresh ginger, a drizzle of lime juice and some sesame oil--it was DEEELICIOUS and with not a crystal of salt involved, (at least on my plate as I try to keep my sodium intake well below 500 milligrams per day.)

Mmmm, only 4 more hours 'til breakfast...

Sidebar: I learned just yesterday, that sesame oil has some pretty 
impressive blood-sodium-lowering properties and if ingested over 
the long term, (according to a 45 day trial done), actually LOWERS 
blood pressure.  Apparently, many of the participants in the study 
went off their BP meds after the trial.  Really, google it.

I think it's time to wrap this post up as I'm finally tired enough to try another lap in the sleep-pool now and I thank you all for helping me get there via these wee-hour ramblings.

as usual, +++vibes to you all,

: J

Sunday, January 27, 2013

A Little Lie Down

So yesterday morning, after being home for 5 days and feeling like I was starting to get the feel of these new--feelings, my husband Pascal and I decided to take a stroll to the local pharmacy where they have a blood pressure monitoring service.

During my time in the hospital, I had gotten used to seeing elevated readings anywhere from 130/80 to 160+, and this is with the meds being taken.

The pharmacist of course had no idea that I am now a sick person, being a long-time customer there and so he was understandably surprised to see mine at 154/80. This lead to conversation of course, with us sharing my newly diagnosed conditions and recent hospitalization.

Blame it on the the stress of the small gathering that was leaning ever closer to eavesdrop, or my body adjusting to being on such a cocktail of meds for so little time, or still sub-par electrolyte levels, or perhaps as one doc suggested, the blame lay in the blockers I'm on coupled with getting up too fast from the chair I was sitting on for the BP testing, but whatever the reason--I went down like a lead zeppelin. Classic Vagus nerve reaction and not the first time I had fainted since being hospitalized, (but at least this time no barfing! ; ).

I wasn't unconscious for long, but long enough to awaken to a bunch of cute, (how can they all be so cute? ; ), emergency medical technicians checking more vitals and from there, due to protocol, no doubt, I was off to yet another emergency room.

After all was said and done, EKG and more pressure testing etc., I was finally discharged and we ended up at home from our "quick morning stroll to the pharmacy", after 4pm; myself tired like mofo and rather grumpy to boot.

This was yesterday and already seems like a week ago as I think I've since then, cleaned the entire house 3 times over. Prednisone is "one helluva drug", as Rick James might describe it and it's incredible to think that today, I feel pretty darned GOOD.

As an already seasoned germ-o-phobe, (or simply, "Canadian", as the french like to say when noting that trait ; ), now that I'm on a boatload of immuno-suppressive meds, I have a new and infused hate-on for any and all germ forms--making this cleaning obsession even more tempting when the wee sleepless hours arise. (I seem to only be able to sleep now for 1-3 hours at-a-time.)

All lessons learned, I guess and like I'm starting to actually GET, it's really IS all about takin' it 'juan day at a time'...


: J

Here I am enjoying the ergonomic pillowy comfort of the pharmacy's hospitality.