Yes, "cabin fever". That's the only term for the effect of this immuno-suppressive therapy that since I've been home from the hospital has:
a) been keeping me from being anywhere in public for too long--without donning a mask, as suggested by my doc, especially in crowded places and when doing chemo @ the hospital.
b), inviting guests over to visit, at least until it's warmer out and we can sit outside in the fresh air where I don't have to worry at all about catching any incubating colds or flu viruses.
Gotta say that after over 2 months of it now, I'm rather feelin' it. Social deprivation and even missing the simple act of say dinner out or drinks at our favo wine bar with hub, (something we used to do a lot of), is sorely missed and I can't tell ya's how keen I am for this therapy to be a wrap and my immune system to be back online.
Every two weeks, I have blood tests done and watch with a bit of sadness the lymphocytes, (our white blood cells that protect us from viral and bacterial infection), dropping like flies, (gonna pick up the latest test results today).
I can only hope that after the chemo is over and when the Prednisone is down to the 2 year plan of only 10 mgs/day, that soon after I shall see those numbers restoring themselves to--maybe not perfectly normal levels, but at least more than they are now. The last blood tests showed them go from 1166, (normal ranges being between 1500-4000), to 598, so when I pick up today's I shall be ready for anything.
But alas, this is all normal and no doubt helping these lil kidney beans improve their filtration rate and THAT is what this is all about, so I press on, cloister on and look at the many pluses that only be cherished more if I rewind to how truly NOT fun life in the hospital was.
-To be sick and secluded in these modern times is quite a blessing. With email, video skype and the like, I'm so much less cut off then if this all would have happened say in the 90's, so I do have some pretty good sick-timing.
-I LOVE our little house. Even before getting sick I was a bit of a nester, enjoying many evenings by the fire, or soaking in the bubble bath, staring up into the night sky through the big picture window above the long, deep tub and I love it now more than ever as so often I am just chilled to the bone it seems.
-My kitchen is perfect for me and I love to be creating in it, and if anything, the restrictions of this renal diet have proven to be a culinary-challenge I can rise to. When I imagine having to follow that diet's heavy rules as a non-cook, I can easily see how it might indeed suck the big enchilada, (filled with no beans, no meat, no cheese or any of the usual enchi-suspects because those foods are not allowed ; ).
-Then there's Tony here with me all the time, keeping me company, making his silly deaf-dog groinks and grunts and whines, being a clown, being a snurrggler and in general, brightening my life like no other creature I've ever known. Tony is home. And he's such an incredibly well-behaved pooch, so obedient, sensitive and again, I can't laud on him enough, evidently.
Today, Pascal returned from leaving for work about a half hour later due to the trains being shut down for the day because of the weather, so it's a "snow day", in Paris and now we can spend it together.
<-- Here's P & T later on enroute. I was very glad to have brought my umbrella to use as a shield as the winds were decidedly against us on the way there.
So yes, "Cabin Fever", and lots more of of it before the ole immune system bounces back some. Looking forward to Spring and seeing some old friends again in the fresh air.
In the mean time, I remain the cloistered Juan, save for chemo & doctors apps, the odd, quick trip to the grocers, or pharmacy and of course, my treasured dog walks out in the fresh air with T.
For all of you out there living life as normal, sitting in cafes chatting with friends, going out to dinner with your better halves, laughing over drinks 'n snacks in your homes or whatever, enjoy it a lil extra for me please, as wow, it's amazing what you miss when it's gone.